it is best to be dubious of rock stars, and other mysterious happenings‏

I'm having an off week. I managed to delete myself from this very blog, for instance, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW. What's the opposite of a technological genius? That's me. Situations like this are exactly why I have not yet completed my *teleportation device. (*This is not related to my time travel device, as I have put those plans on indefinite hold based on some really terrible time traveling nightmares/possible future real life circumstances.)

And just now, I microwaved my dinner FOUR TIMES and kept forgetting to eat it. (Actually, it's sitting beside me right now. I never ate it. Now I am doubting the nutritional value of 4x microwaved food. Should I even bother?)

Other than this questionable microwaved heap of chili relleno, I have not been cooking much. So this post isn't going to have a recipe. I'm telling you now, in case you have other things to do.

Moving on with the general mystery!

This week, I applied to this job at an organic grocery store, and I got a reply from Jim Morrison. I looked up his number through reverse phone lookup and it said he was located in Santa Monica even though this job was in Raleigh. Now, I know what you are thinking. A "Jim Morrison" and a long distance phone number?! That is a red flag for spam! But what I thought was - JIM MORRISON'S GHOST IS CONTACTING ME FOR A LEGIT JOB! I left a message on his voicemail, which, by the by, featured a speaking voice which could definitely translate to Jim Morrison's singing voice.

Then today, I received received several text messages from a mysterious cell number that I did not recognize. Because I forget stuff, and people, and details, ALL THE TIME. I reverse-phone-number looked it up in the white pages, but all the white pages told me was that it was local, which doesn't help, because probably I've forgotten a lot of things/people locally as well as internationally.

Mysterious Text: Are you OK? haven't heard from you in a while, hope you are doing well :)
(My Internal Dialogue: "Crap, what have I done to make people think I'm not okay? and... oh man, this person is SO NICE, they hope I am doing well. with a smiley face! what kind of person am I to not remember whose number this is?!")

My Actual Reply: All is well... Who is this? I don't have this number saved, which is prolly why you haven't heard from me.

Mysterious Texter: It is your favorite friend in North Carolina you poo poo head!
(My Internal Dialogue: "Clearly this IS my friend because only my most Favorite friends would call me a poo poo head!" Then I felt worse about forgetting.)

My Actual Reply: That is probably true based on the fact that you just called me a poohead.

Mysterious Texter: Its Vicki Lynne you douche that says alot you weinie

(This is where I got really confused. Because I know a VickY who is very particular about the spelling of her name, but this "Vickie" didn't even mention bourbon once, and VickY always does cause she's a classy classy lady. And I know a Lynn who changed her name to Lynae. But I don't know a Vickie Lynn. I don't think. Even though she appears to be my favorite. So instead I decided to change the subject.)

Me: I love refreshing insults in the morning! Mm.

Vicki Lynne: WTF I am offended you didn't know it was me!

Me: It IS a shame how I don't have a photographic memory. I am disappointed in that ALL the time.
............................................................
I didn't hear from Vicki Lynne again, which is sad since she is my favorite person in North Carolina.

And Jim Morrison never called me back.

..............
**update: Jim Morrison emailed me back.
**And Vickie Lynne texted again. But I ignored her. She seems difficult.