The Future. Of Snacks.

If I don't write something soon, Molli is gonna throw a whole bunch of meaningless threats in my direction, so FINE. I will post, but it will be a LAZY post as I experiment with my pie crusts and GF scone recipes. (See? I'm doing stuff. I don't have to tell you everything.)

So what I need to talk about you right now is PepsiCo's new motto.

"We see the emerging opportunity to ‘snackify’ beverages and ‘drinkify’ snacks as the next frontier in food and beverage convenience."

WHAT!? Why is this even a thing? I appreciate wordplay, but can you use this in a sentence without cracking up?

Me - "Molli, could you please drinkify my snack? Also, my beverage needs to be snackified."
Molli - "Did you have shots of espresso instead of dinner again? What's wrong with you!?"

Or maybe more accurately,
Molli - Blank stare. Hand smack.

See? Doesn't work.

But speaking of drinks and snacks. Some gluten free snacks are self explanatory, like corn chips and fruit & veggies and slices of cheese. So I'm not even going tell you the boring everyday snacks that everyone knows. Boring. Instead, I will share with you some of my favorite *damn hippie food* snacks.
*Roommate's words.

• I love love broiled kale.Buy kale. Wash it with fruit & veggie wash to remove pesticides. Remove stems. Break it into smaller pieces, and lay it out on a baking sheet you've generously swiped with olive oil. Sprinkle sea salt. Broil at 400 degrees for about 10-12 minutes, until you see the edges start to brown. The kale will be crispy, like chips. Let cool, then save in a waterproof container. Best if eaten within a day or two.

• For a variation, or to be lazier, you can buy baked seaweed at Trader Joes or Asian grocery stores. If you like sushi wrapping, you will like this. I like crunchy salty things, and this is much healthier.

• Or if you're like "Ugh! Green stuff! Gross!" Well then fine. Try THESE. Packaged snap pea crisps. They're HARDLY green, and taste especially of mildly cheesy potatoes.

• Trader Joes and Walmart have started selling freeze dried fruit. I have mixed feelings about this, because the pineapple kind hurts my teeth, but it's ASTRONAUT FOOD!

• Also, see: larabars (I believe they are all GF, but they state it directly on the package). These are delicious ground up fruit and nut bars. My favorite are cashew cookie and chocolate chip cookie dough.

• Popcorn. With nutritional yeast! Ha, and you thought I was going for boring snacks, then you read the yeast part. But seriously. Nutritional yeast (not brewer's yeast) tastes nutty and cheesy. It is full of B 12 vitamins, and so very good for you. I worked at a camp where we had a jar of this stuff, and the teenagers FOUGHT over it. They called it hippie dust, which made it much cooler to fight over. (I like popcorn with yeast and butter. I have nothing against butter, or fat. I'm not trying to make you skinny. I want to make you happy and healthy. But get butter without hormones.)
  

• My favorite drink. I know what you thinking - drinks don't have gluten! But that's where you're wrong! Drink mixes sometimes do. It's a horrible trick. Sometimes I long for the chemical goodness of other people's childhood (I wasn't allowed much koolaid). For a substitute, make hibicus tea. It is a bright bright red pink, but no red dye #5! Brew it strong, and it comes out super fruity. Add stevia for a sugar free, calorie free, cancer free sweetener. (Remember stevia is MUCH sweeter than sugar, so add a little bit at a time. Which reminds me. Once, one of my friends poo-pooed that sweetness of stevia and cracked open a packet and poured the whole thing on his tongue to prove me wrong. In a couple seconds, a terrible pinched look on his face, he ran to my sink to spit a lot. He is such a polite and upstanding young man who doesn't spit in kitchen sinks, which made it much more fun to witness for me.) Anyway, give this beverage to small children and watch their faces ooze delight. Pat yourself on the back for how tricky you are.