but why?

So, you've heard from Molli, and how going gluten free was nothing less than a miracle for her. For those of you who know me, you know I am not gluten intolerant (I'm intolerant to wine sulfites, and pollen & dust, and assholes, but gluten seems to be okay.). And you're probably all, "What's your angle, missy!?" Good question. And thanks for not calling me "ma'am", which makes me think of little old ladies.

Anyways. My angle is that I'm interested in food. Real food, whole food. Food that nourishes the body and tantalizes the tastebuds. I believe food can be - should be - a conscious choice and an everyday pleasure, in a thoroughly sustainable way. Because my own preferences are for "Real Food" (which I might generally describe as hormone, antibiotic & preservative free that doesn't taste like "health food"), I experiment.

I'm fascinated by the possibilities of meal choices, and the alchemy of food - how combined textures make entirely new products. Food is something we must take into our bodies to survive, but instead of using food as an incredible tool, it's one of the most automatic actions most people perform.

I want to know WHY food is bought and sold and stored the way it is, where it comes from, how it traveled to my plate, and what effect it has on the body - no skewing necessary. I'd like the truth, please. Good intentions on the side.

Now, that's enough preachin'. ...all that talking has put me in the mood for a long walk and a picnic. Here's a recipe for a delightful cold picnic salad.

Not-Potato Picnic Salad
You need:
a carton of grape or cherry tomatoes, sliced in half
1 can shoepeg corn, drained
1 can black beans, drained
2 tablespoons cilantro (washed & chopped)
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
salt & pepper to taste

Mix all in big bowl. The end. (I KNOW! SO EASY! And delicious. This actually tastes better after sitting a day too.)

What We Need Is Some Sunshine!

This time of year is always the worst for me. I live outside of Philly, and January through March tends to be cold, wet, and dark. The holidays are over, and people seem to slip into that post-Christmas over-eating, over-spending stupor, where nobody has the money or the inclination to go out, and the weather threatens to kill you in a slippery icy death if you do. It's so depressing. And comfort foods like thick stews and mac n' cheese and pie just seem to add to the malaise.
So it's around this time of year that I start craving salads, especially anything with citrus, or red and orange veggies. Things that taste like sunshine.
This salad is another Greek origin dish, and it really is my favorite. Salads are awesome, but I find lettuce disagreeable on a philosophical basis. I like salads of more substance, and this is a great one to use as a base. At the end I'll give you some ideas on how to modify it to accompany certain moods or dishes.


Basically, all you need is some Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Fresh Basil, Minced Garlic, Salt, Pepper, and Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and Balsamic Vinegar.
I know I usually tell you ingredient amounts, but salads are very subjective. Maybe you like a lot of cucumber, and just want some tomato for color. Maybe you are all about the tomato, and just want the cucumber for a little crunch. I dunno. I'm not the boss of salads.
Anyways, there are some steps to combine everything that are good to follow to maximize the taste and texture of your veggies, so once you decide how much of everything you want, follow these steps to prepare:

When choosing tomatoes: try to get locally grown whenever you can. It just makes sense. The fresher your tomato, the more vitamins and nutrients it retains, and the better it tastes. For salads, I would avoid Beefsteak tomatoes. These are wonderful for sandwiches and burgers, but they are a little watery and weak-tasting for a tomato based salad. Id' stick with Roma or Cherry Tomatoes for best flavor. If you're using Cherry Tomatoes, just cut them in half, for Romas, I suggest round slices about 1/4 of an inch thick.

I like to dice the cucumbers for a pleasing contrast in shapes, but that's just me. If you're buying organic, non-wax cucumbers, leaving the skins on will add a nice color, a bit of texture, and a decent amount of fiber and nutrients, but in all honesty, if you don't have the money to spend on organics and get the regular sort of store produce, peel your cucumbers before you slice them. The skins of these often contain pesticides that are no good for you, and the wax they put on them, while safe, is unpleasant, and often makes the skins (and your salad) very bitter. So, non-organic cucumbers need to be naked. Moving on!

Once you have your veggies chopped, season them with some salt, fresh cracked pepper, and minced garlic, as per your tastes. Just toss all that stuff together in a bowl. Add to that your extra virgin olive oil. You want just enough to coat the veggies, about 1 teaspoon per cup of salad is a good guide. Toss all that with your fresh basil. Only use the leaves and keep them whole. Again, tastes vary, but I'd go with a handful of basil for every 2 cups of salad.

Keep slightly chilled until you are ready to serve. You may want to add your balsamic to the salad at the same time that you add the oil, but that has a tendency to stain the veggies, so I like to drizzle the vinegar right before serving, and that way everyone gets the amount of vinegar they prefer.

And that's it! Easy Peasy. Now, here are some quick ways to jazz up that basic salad to suit your meals.

Greek Style: Add chopped Red Onion, a bit of Oregano, and some Feta Cheese. My favorite. Or, if you want to be SUPER fancy, go for some Kalamata Olives as well.

Italian Style: Some seasoned Mozzarella Balls cut in half is all you need. Or you can convert into a bangin' Bruchetta by dicing all the veggies small, and serving on top of grilled crustini. drizzle with the balsamic and sprinkle with shredded Parmesan.

Southwest Style: Try adding some diced Avocado, Jalapeno, chopped Cilantro and a little bit of lime juice

Asparagus: Toss in some chopped green onion and some blanched asparagus for some vivid green and added crunch. An addition of toasted pine nuts and Chevre or other smooth goat cheese is true decadence!

As you can see, a very versatile salad. I hope it helps to add some summer to your table in the dark months. Now, I gotta go buy some Feta...

Snow: Tiny Balls of Freezing Motivation

It snowed.

That sentence is all by itself up there to show you how emphatic I am about it. IT SNOWED. In Raleigh. What?!? I moved south to avoid this whole snow business. Good grief.

I've decided a good way to pass the time before I can wear sundresses again is to set small, attainable goals. For what? I don't know! I'm still figuring that part out.

I've been reading a lot more lately. My attention span is too short for tv, but I can concentrate on reading, which seems backwards, but there you go. I've been reviewing my list of books on Goodreads - a marvelous invention because I used to keep track with paper lists, but I am always losing lists. Grasping for organization is so futile sometimes. Thanks, goodreads.com for taking charge. Anyway. I thought, wouldn't it be stupendous if I could read 1,000 books by the time I'm thirty? I like the sound of that. So much for small, attainable goals.

But then I got all mathematical about it and realized I would have to read maybe 15 books a month. And I read fast, but that might be too much, even for me. Even if I count the "young adult" stories I read for an hour pick-me-up. So maybe I'll extend it to WHILE I'm 30. Because 7 books a month is probably do-able. I'm a high functioning insomniac, so I have twice the time to do it. Also, this is logical because (stay with me here), if I am the worst at small attainable goals, maybe I would be way way better at large, completely impossible goals! Insomniac logic! Yay!

On a side note - I just now realized I don't own a library card for the local library. Although I DO own library cards for libraries in Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Oregon. This is starting to sound difficult. So I'm definitely motivated to do it and possibly spectacularly fail.

Now, a recipe for Three Sisters Stew. It's especially nice cause I'm one of three sisters. Also, the stew warms your belly AND your soul. I mean, assuming you're not a redhead, and consequently, soul-less. In which case, it might warm your little black heart.

Three Sisters Stew

INGREDIENTS
1 large butternut squash, cut up (about 2 pounds) *I suggest buying it cut up in the produce section, because butternut squash takes brute strength to cut up
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 medium green or red bell pepper, cut into short, narrow strips
14- to 16-ounce can diced tomatoes, with liquid
2 cups cooked pinto beans (about 3/4 cup raw),
or 16-ounce can, drained and rinsed
2 cups corn kernels (from 2 large or 3 medium ears)
1 cup homemade or canned vegetable stock, or water
4-ounce can chopped mild green chiles
1 teaspoon each: ground cumin, dried oregano
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Bake squash for 40 to 50 minutes, or until just done but still firm. When cool enough to handle, dice squash into cubes. Set aside until needed.

Heat the oil in a soup pot. Add the onion and sauté over medium-low heat until translucent. Add the garlic and continue to sauté until the onion is golden.

Add the diced squash and all the remaining ingredients and bring to a simmer. Simmer gently, covered, until all the vegetables are tender, about 20 to 25 minutes. Season to taste with salt
and pepper.

If time allows, let the stew stand for 1 to 2 hours before serving, then heat through as needed. The stew should be thick and very moist but not soupy; add additional stock or water if needed. I like mine extra soupy when I'm not feeling well.

Oprah is kind of like Jesus, but more fashionable and with proven cooking skillz

Today's recipe is brought to you by Oprah. Black bean dip. I took this to a potluck last week and at one point there were people crowded around the bowl as if the dip itself was making an impressive speech. (Maybe it was. I don't speak bean language so I can't tell you for sure.)

And the awesome thing about this recipe is even if you're super lazy and think goat cheese is too expensive so you only buy half the amount and then throw all the ingredients together in kind of the wrong order and then it's gloppy and you have to put it in a blender to smooth it, it still tastes fantastic! I know, because that is what I did. I wouldn't give you this advice if I hadn't scientifically proven it, dontchaworrynow.

Is there anything Oprah can't do? I naturally fall on the side of counter culture even though I know I am just being the opposite of whatever is popular right now. Bandwagons make me nervous. Probably, I will ride a bike instead of jumping on the bandwagon. Except in Portland, where everyone rides bikes, so probably I will take a cab. Unless I'm in New York, in which case I'll switch to a scooter. Unless I'm in Italy, in which case I'll nix the scooter and start walking. But not like a lemming and not off a cliff, that's my point.

Where was I? Oh yes.

Oprah is irresistible. Every time I watch her show, she is doing something good. There are no baby mammas slappin' around babydaddies who are screaming while dressed like skinheads & explaining that sociopath-ism is totally a valid life choice and generally being the Worst Kind Of People. Oprah doesn't make time for those people. She picks out the unlucky, trying-reeeeal-hard, just-hoping-for-a-break-but-not-expecting-it people. She gives them books and houses and makeovers and emotions. I resisted her book club for years until finally I realized I kept picking Oprah-approved books and caved and started reading them on purpose. And dangit, I laughed, I cried, I lied about having emotions, and I looked forward to her book selections.

Why am I so excited about Oprah right now? Because this week I discovered I have two gray hairs. *Actually, I would have had three, but about a year ago, a hairstylist found and triumphantly yanked out that third hair.*

Anyway, I spent an entire day trying to figure out how I felt about my two gray hairs. I put on my pointy toed (with buckles!) witch shoes to help me think. Because gray hair seems to go with witch shoes. Also, fancy shoes help me think.

Silver hairs are making me think about the process of aging, and how difficult and really confusing it is in a culture of youth and beauty and dramaDramadrama. I told my current hairstylist about my gray hairs and she talked to me about hair dye, which I found kind of disappointing. My two silver hairs are a badge, a testament to my possible wise and learn-ed-ness. (Here's hoping.) I feel secretly proud about these hairs, and it seems I'm not supposed to think so. But I always hoped I would have silvery white hair, and it turns out that is exactly what I'm getting! For the win.

It is good to feel victorious rather than worried. I feel like Oprah doesn't get caught up in worrying. I hope that she doesn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about her hips and being only a sex object and not being able to be herself and being a fair person but being too much a pushover as a woman. Probably she doesn't worry too much about being a bitch and wanting to be a bitch and having her own goals and not quite adapting to other people and then sometimes adapting too much. I bet she dislikes all statements telling her that any certain time is her ONE time to have the time of her life, and ESPECIALLY dislikes statements that tell her that time is either over or has not begun. So I'm proud of Oprah like I am of my gray hairs, secretly excited about how awesome things can be when you just stick to your guns about yourself.

Oprah is the kind of woman that most of us hoped we would be when we were 10, back when we were pretty sure we were going to grow up and be a singer and an astronaut and a doctor and a princess. Sure, people hassle her about her clothes and her weight and self esteem, but Oprah rises above that and just starts another Something-Awesome.

Oprah defies people who say her body isn't quite right, and her face isn't pretty enough, and her personality leaves something to be desired. She doesn't even argue with those people. She just does her thing. And even when she is doing small things, she somehow gets to the core of what's important.

My silvery hairs give me hope that I too could be a wise learn-ed lady. Gray hair does not equal witch, I tell myself. Productive woman does not equal bitch, I tell myself.

Here's to doing super neat things without casting everyone else as The Enemy Who Is Against Me. Come over to my house and have some black bean dip and we will give each other makeovers to bring out the inner awesome-ness we already have.

I am totally on my way to my 10 year old childhood dream. Thank you, Oprah, for showing the way to this Prairie Girl-Writer-Spy-Chef. I'm nearly there.

Black Bean-Goat Cheese Dip
(Or, Oprah puts delicious ideas into my head.)

• 1 tablespoon olive oil , plus more for brushing (optional)
• 1 small onion , chopped (about 1 cup)
• 2 cloves garlic , minced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cumin (preferably whole seeds, freshly toasted and ground)
• 2 cans (15.5 to 19 ounces) black beans , drained and rinsed
• 1 cup chicken stock (veggie for vegetarians)
  
• Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
• 2 large poblano peppers
• 1 bunch scallions, sliced (about 1/2 cup)
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped cilantro
• 1 log (11 ounces) fresh goat cheese

In a large saucepan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in cumin and cook 30 seconds. Add 1 can beans and lightly mash using a potato masher. Stir in chicken stock and remaining can of beans. Simmer until very thick (but not pasty), 5–7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Let cool.

Meanwhile, place poblano peppers directly on a burner over a medium-low gas flame. Turn regularly with tongs to blacken skin, 10–15 minutes (if you don't have a gas stove, you can blacken peppers on a sheet pan under a broiler, turning regularly, about 15 minutes). Place peppers in a paper bag; seal and let sit (and steam) until cool enough to handle. Peel peppers, removing as much of the charred skin as possible without rinsing. Seed and coarsely chop. Transfer to a small bowl and toss with scallions and cilantro.

Preheat oven to 375°. In the bottom of a 1- to 1 1/2-quart soufflé or baking dish, spread half of bean mixture. Top with half of cheese, crumbled, and half of pepper mixture. Repeat layering once more, ending on pepper mixture.

Because I said so, that's why!

Today I asked Molli why we don't have a blog. Or at least, a terribly misinformed advice column. Because firstly, we are bored, and secondly, we are easily entertained, and thirdly, I hear goals are good to have in life and I want something awesome to do. And since we both have so much spare time and all, if you count "not sleeping" as "spare time", a blog should've happened years ago. But instead it happened today.

Winter slowed us both down. I feel like I am so motivated in the summer and then suddenly, bah, everything is stupid and maybe I'm not a writer or a rollergirl or a burlesque dancer or a muse after all. I have been bored and lonely and feeling completely aimless. I am still recovering from my last lifetime where I must have been a Bear, and in my instinctive soul-urge self, I still want to store up food in mah belly and then nap away the long cold dark times with my pack. Bears have packs, right?

But since I can't be a bear (unfortunately), I will brainstorm with Molli as to things that are funny (like men who wear top hats in Wal-mart - true story) and things that are the worst (you can buy a piggy bank made out of a REAL piglet - what a terrible idea and what kind of monsters have we turned into?!) and also, give out some really terrible advice. But the nice thing about our terrible advice is that we're very upfront with how we are the worst, and then you will have all kinds of ideas about what NOT to do, which should really motivate you to stay on the straight 'n' narrow in whatever subject into you might be inquiring.

Yeah. You're welcome in advance.

And on that note, Molli has requested my recipe for lentil soup, which is more of a stew for satisfying the grumpy winter bear in you.

Stop yer bitchin' and get in the kitchen!

Noelle's Lentil Stew(This stew keeps very well in the fridge throughout the week, and if it gets too thick, just add more broth. )

2 cups lentils
at least 3 cups of chicken or vegetable broth
1 large onion
1/2-1 teaspoon of cumin to taste

Soak the lentils overnight in room temperature water. I like red and yellow lentils best - they have a better flavor. Plus they're not ugly like those horrible beige lentils. Nobody likes beige anything. Also, isn't lentil a really funny word?

Now that your lentils are soaked, drain the water and put the lentils in a big ol' pot with all that chicken/veggie broth. Cook over low/medium heat ALL THE DAY LONG. Or until lentils are soft. They will disintegrate and make a luscious creamy goodness. (That's what she said!)

In the meantime, chop up an onion (I like yellow ones. I guess I like yellow things.) and add to the pot. It is ESPECIALLY yummy if you grill the onions in a little bit of butter and get them all browned and succulent THEN add to the lentil pot.

And then add cumin to taste. Cumin is delicious. It's very warming for the winter, and very subtle in small amounts. Even people who say the word "cumin" is stupid get all mouthwatery when I secretly add it to my stew. So put in a teaspoon at least. If it's not salty enough for you, you can add some salt, but frankly, I think you're salty enough, you dirty sailor.

Now eat your stew! Wasn't that easy? (Yeah, also kinda like you.)