Because I said so, that's why!

Today I asked Molli why we don't have a blog. Or at least, a terribly misinformed advice column. Because firstly, we are bored, and secondly, we are easily entertained, and thirdly, I hear goals are good to have in life and I want something awesome to do. And since we both have so much spare time and all, if you count "not sleeping" as "spare time", a blog should've happened years ago. But instead it happened today.

Winter slowed us both down. I feel like I am so motivated in the summer and then suddenly, bah, everything is stupid and maybe I'm not a writer or a rollergirl or a burlesque dancer or a muse after all. I have been bored and lonely and feeling completely aimless. I am still recovering from my last lifetime where I must have been a Bear, and in my instinctive soul-urge self, I still want to store up food in mah belly and then nap away the long cold dark times with my pack. Bears have packs, right?

But since I can't be a bear (unfortunately), I will brainstorm with Molli as to things that are funny (like men who wear top hats in Wal-mart - true story) and things that are the worst (you can buy a piggy bank made out of a REAL piglet - what a terrible idea and what kind of monsters have we turned into?!) and also, give out some really terrible advice. But the nice thing about our terrible advice is that we're very upfront with how we are the worst, and then you will have all kinds of ideas about what NOT to do, which should really motivate you to stay on the straight 'n' narrow in whatever subject into you might be inquiring.

Yeah. You're welcome in advance.

And on that note, Molli has requested my recipe for lentil soup, which is more of a stew for satisfying the grumpy winter bear in you.

Stop yer bitchin' and get in the kitchen!

Noelle's Lentil Stew(This stew keeps very well in the fridge throughout the week, and if it gets too thick, just add more broth. )

2 cups lentils
at least 3 cups of chicken or vegetable broth
1 large onion
1/2-1 teaspoon of cumin to taste

Soak the lentils overnight in room temperature water. I like red and yellow lentils best - they have a better flavor. Plus they're not ugly like those horrible beige lentils. Nobody likes beige anything. Also, isn't lentil a really funny word?

Now that your lentils are soaked, drain the water and put the lentils in a big ol' pot with all that chicken/veggie broth. Cook over low/medium heat ALL THE DAY LONG. Or until lentils are soft. They will disintegrate and make a luscious creamy goodness. (That's what she said!)

In the meantime, chop up an onion (I like yellow ones. I guess I like yellow things.) and add to the pot. It is ESPECIALLY yummy if you grill the onions in a little bit of butter and get them all browned and succulent THEN add to the lentil pot.

And then add cumin to taste. Cumin is delicious. It's very warming for the winter, and very subtle in small amounts. Even people who say the word "cumin" is stupid get all mouthwatery when I secretly add it to my stew. So put in a teaspoon at least. If it's not salty enough for you, you can add some salt, but frankly, I think you're salty enough, you dirty sailor.

Now eat your stew! Wasn't that easy? (Yeah, also kinda like you.)