Oprah is kind of like Jesus, but more fashionable and with proven cooking skillz

Today's recipe is brought to you by Oprah. Black bean dip. I took this to a potluck last week and at one point there were people crowded around the bowl as if the dip itself was making an impressive speech. (Maybe it was. I don't speak bean language so I can't tell you for sure.)

And the awesome thing about this recipe is even if you're super lazy and think goat cheese is too expensive so you only buy half the amount and then throw all the ingredients together in kind of the wrong order and then it's gloppy and you have to put it in a blender to smooth it, it still tastes fantastic! I know, because that is what I did. I wouldn't give you this advice if I hadn't scientifically proven it, dontchaworrynow.

Is there anything Oprah can't do? I naturally fall on the side of counter culture even though I know I am just being the opposite of whatever is popular right now. Bandwagons make me nervous. Probably, I will ride a bike instead of jumping on the bandwagon. Except in Portland, where everyone rides bikes, so probably I will take a cab. Unless I'm in New York, in which case I'll switch to a scooter. Unless I'm in Italy, in which case I'll nix the scooter and start walking. But not like a lemming and not off a cliff, that's my point.

Where was I? Oh yes.

Oprah is irresistible. Every time I watch her show, she is doing something good. There are no baby mammas slappin' around babydaddies who are screaming while dressed like skinheads & explaining that sociopath-ism is totally a valid life choice and generally being the Worst Kind Of People. Oprah doesn't make time for those people. She picks out the unlucky, trying-reeeeal-hard, just-hoping-for-a-break-but-not-expecting-it people. She gives them books and houses and makeovers and emotions. I resisted her book club for years until finally I realized I kept picking Oprah-approved books and caved and started reading them on purpose. And dangit, I laughed, I cried, I lied about having emotions, and I looked forward to her book selections.

Why am I so excited about Oprah right now? Because this week I discovered I have two gray hairs. *Actually, I would have had three, but about a year ago, a hairstylist found and triumphantly yanked out that third hair.*

Anyway, I spent an entire day trying to figure out how I felt about my two gray hairs. I put on my pointy toed (with buckles!) witch shoes to help me think. Because gray hair seems to go with witch shoes. Also, fancy shoes help me think.

Silver hairs are making me think about the process of aging, and how difficult and really confusing it is in a culture of youth and beauty and dramaDramadrama. I told my current hairstylist about my gray hairs and she talked to me about hair dye, which I found kind of disappointing. My two silver hairs are a badge, a testament to my possible wise and learn-ed-ness. (Here's hoping.) I feel secretly proud about these hairs, and it seems I'm not supposed to think so. But I always hoped I would have silvery white hair, and it turns out that is exactly what I'm getting! For the win.

It is good to feel victorious rather than worried. I feel like Oprah doesn't get caught up in worrying. I hope that she doesn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about her hips and being only a sex object and not being able to be herself and being a fair person but being too much a pushover as a woman. Probably she doesn't worry too much about being a bitch and wanting to be a bitch and having her own goals and not quite adapting to other people and then sometimes adapting too much. I bet she dislikes all statements telling her that any certain time is her ONE time to have the time of her life, and ESPECIALLY dislikes statements that tell her that time is either over or has not begun. So I'm proud of Oprah like I am of my gray hairs, secretly excited about how awesome things can be when you just stick to your guns about yourself.

Oprah is the kind of woman that most of us hoped we would be when we were 10, back when we were pretty sure we were going to grow up and be a singer and an astronaut and a doctor and a princess. Sure, people hassle her about her clothes and her weight and self esteem, but Oprah rises above that and just starts another Something-Awesome.

Oprah defies people who say her body isn't quite right, and her face isn't pretty enough, and her personality leaves something to be desired. She doesn't even argue with those people. She just does her thing. And even when she is doing small things, she somehow gets to the core of what's important.

My silvery hairs give me hope that I too could be a wise learn-ed lady. Gray hair does not equal witch, I tell myself. Productive woman does not equal bitch, I tell myself.

Here's to doing super neat things without casting everyone else as The Enemy Who Is Against Me. Come over to my house and have some black bean dip and we will give each other makeovers to bring out the inner awesome-ness we already have.

I am totally on my way to my 10 year old childhood dream. Thank you, Oprah, for showing the way to this Prairie Girl-Writer-Spy-Chef. I'm nearly there.

Black Bean-Goat Cheese Dip
(Or, Oprah puts delicious ideas into my head.)

• 1 tablespoon olive oil , plus more for brushing (optional)
• 1 small onion , chopped (about 1 cup)
• 2 cloves garlic , minced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cumin (preferably whole seeds, freshly toasted and ground)
• 2 cans (15.5 to 19 ounces) black beans , drained and rinsed
• 1 cup chicken stock (veggie for vegetarians)
  
• Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
• 2 large poblano peppers
• 1 bunch scallions, sliced (about 1/2 cup)
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped cilantro
• 1 log (11 ounces) fresh goat cheese

In a large saucepan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in cumin and cook 30 seconds. Add 1 can beans and lightly mash using a potato masher. Stir in chicken stock and remaining can of beans. Simmer until very thick (but not pasty), 5–7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Let cool.

Meanwhile, place poblano peppers directly on a burner over a medium-low gas flame. Turn regularly with tongs to blacken skin, 10–15 minutes (if you don't have a gas stove, you can blacken peppers on a sheet pan under a broiler, turning regularly, about 15 minutes). Place peppers in a paper bag; seal and let sit (and steam) until cool enough to handle. Peel peppers, removing as much of the charred skin as possible without rinsing. Seed and coarsely chop. Transfer to a small bowl and toss with scallions and cilantro.

Preheat oven to 375°. In the bottom of a 1- to 1 1/2-quart soufflé or baking dish, spread half of bean mixture. Top with half of cheese, crumbled, and half of pepper mixture. Repeat layering once more, ending on pepper mixture.